Not to the Rescue!

Based on the old adage, "Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime," I have come to believe that there is a big difference between helpful assistance and rescuing. How wonderful it is to help someone who is having problems dealing with things -- going for groceries, making decisions that are difficult, getting to a doctor's office, for example. These are things to assist with that are helpful. However, if you take over those responsibilites past the time that the person was unable to do those things himself, then I believe you have begun to rescue them. I'm a big believer in independence and doing everything that I can myself when possible. I live alone so must depend pretty much on no one but myself. However, if I have a bandage on my back that I can't remove, I may call on someone to help me. When I was young, my mother usurped many of my duties by doing them herself -- picking out my clothes, calling someone about a job for me, dealing with bullies at school. I resented her interference and vowed that I would raise my children to be independent. I think I have raised three who are self-sufficient and successful. They sometimes rely on me for inspiration and advice but not for much else. When you do something for someone that they could do for themselves, that is a rescue.